I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
