More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
