ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
