The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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