Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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