guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
