Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
