I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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