Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
