My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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