if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
