So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
