So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
