I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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