I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You can't motorboat a personality
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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