I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
