you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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