Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
