I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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