Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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