well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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