So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
