I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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