Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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