when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
