Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
