Do you still have your period?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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