Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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