I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
