i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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