she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
