Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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