They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
