Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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