Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
