in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
