this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize