Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize