We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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