so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
