Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
