There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
