I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
