Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
