Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
