we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
