is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize