I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm at about main and main street
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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