Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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