the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize