apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
