Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
