Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
