no, he came in my armpit
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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