Are we in a gay sports bar?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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