Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
