you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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