We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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