I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize