yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
